Brian Explains: Hair

I’m not complaining, but I have troublesome hair. I have thick, curly hair. This is fine until you want to run your fingers through your hair. I can, theoretically, run my fingers through my hair, but I will have fro head if I do. I would be fine if I could travel back to the 70's. This is why I put shellac in my hair. I used to go into hair salons where mainly women went and they would all say, “Oh my god, I love your hair. I wish I had your hair.” What these ladies didn’t realize was that they were women (they skipped that day in sex education class). I am a man, a male, and hopefully the more macho between us. The top male movie stars of the world do not have this kind of “lovely” hair, Shirley Temple had this kind of “lovely” hair. I don’t need or want it. Why do I go on this long about my hair, because I have to stare at it everyday so the least you can do is listen to my babbling for a minute or so.

As mentioned before, I used to go to a hair salon, but don’t anymore. These days, I cut my own hair. I know what you are thinking. Stop it! Just listen. It started out because the person who was cutting my hair moved to another state. It later moved on to a money saving scheme. Eventually, it developed into a preference of style. People always complain when they get a bad haircut. This usually happens because of a misunderstanding between the hair stylist/barber and you. You said, “Cut it short,” but what is too short? Before you stop going to your hair stylist/barber, you should observe how they cut your hair and where they cut it shorter or longer (it’s good to pick a good haircut for observation so you don't continue last month's fiasco). The first time you cut your own hair, sweat may obscure your vision because you are going to be nervous about giving yourself a bad haircut, but, if you do it in layers (“just a trim” in barber language), everything will be okay. Start someplace that’s easy. I’ve found the sides of my head to be the hardest to do, so you might want to avoid there. Results may vary. You also might want to keep things even. Do as the barber does. Hold up the hair on various parts of your head and compare.

After having said all this, if you go to your hair stylist/barber for a lively conversation and you have extra money to blow on your head, keep up the good work. I’m not here to tell you how to run your life. I just want to give you all the suggestions for living you may not have thought of yet.