Obsessive–compulsive disorder (OCD) is defined by Merriam-Webster as a “psychoneurotic disorder in which the patient is beset with obsessions or compulsions or both and suffers extreme anxiety or depression through failure to think the obsessive thoughts or perform the compelling acts.” I don’t mean to brag, but I have several forms of OCD. One form of OCD that I have is the ordering the items in my kitchen sink. The last sentence was the teaser for the next paragraph. I really should have ended with that sentence and come back next week with an article that continues the setup. That would make this week’s Brian Explains Life article just a tad short so I will go ahead and continue the story in the next paragraph. Besides, with these added sentences, I feel I have teased you enough.
And now, the much anticipated paragraph where I explain how I organize my kitchen sink. The left side of the sink is the inbox. Whatever is going in the sink starts there. Usually, I just use that side of the sink to wash off the dishes, etc., of any debris on them. They are then placed dry and in order on the right side of the sink. What is the proper order of items on the right side? That’s a very good and important question and I am glad I asked it. When you put cups in the sink, the forks, spoons, and knives get put inside them. Dishes get placed on their side in ascending order from smallest to largest with the larger dishes being on the edge of the sink. The largest bowls or containers get placed on the bottom of the sink with subsequently smaller bowls or containers placed on top. Container lids or other large flat items (like a cutting board) should be placed on their side in the back of the sink. You might have more of one type of item so you will have to perform Tetris-like moves to get them all to work together.
If others in your household do not follow the steps in the past paragraph, it is best to freak out and tie them to a chair so you can explain the whole process to them. I have never actually done this when my wife, Patti, ignores my rules, but I show my disdain to her actions by rolling my eyes and correcting the horrendous sink faux pas by placing the items in the sink myself. Patti has her own form of OCD. One form has to do partially with the sink. If I take a knife out of the drawer and I meant to take a spoon, I cannot put the knife back in the drawer even if I only raised it a few inches out of the drawer. It has been contaminated by the outside the drawer air. You have to put it in the sink unused (in a cup, of course). And don’t get me started on how she eats. Well, since I already began talking about it, I will set forth the rules of a proper dinner plate. All food items must be separated by enough space for the food to not touch. Food must be eaten in order and one item at a time. If you have spaghetti and meatballs, the spaghetti must be eaten first and then the meatballs. The best meal for her would be separate plates for each item.
I would like to apologies to my wife for the last paragraph. Everything I have said was true, but I shouldn’t include her in my explanation of a psychological disorder. I should only use myself and other people I don’t know as examples. Celebrities are always good targets. Speaking of which, here are a list of celebrities and their OCD activities:
- Howard Hughes became a recluse and wore tissue boxes on his feet near the end of his life, becoming a social recluse.
- Howie Mandel cannot shake hands with anyone due to mysophobia (the fear of dirt and germs). He bumps his fist with people instead of shaking hands. I call him a germaphobe. I’ll explain germaphobes in another article, but not in the middle of a list of celebrities with OCD.
- Howard Stern could not turn on his car radio without tapping the dial a certain number of times with his right hand.
I could name other celebrities with OCD, but I have a form of OCD that only allows me to list people who are named Howard. I think we all have some form of OCD in our lives. There are many disorganized and chaotic parts of life that need to be put in check somehow. Our mind wants to control the world, but it cannot. OCD is the mind’s attempt to control the world. It is considered a disorder because controlling the world is a fantasy. You can’t control the world so you overly control yourself. Just as I can’t control my wife, I realize I can only control my own behavior. I will now use my control over this article before it becomes too much like a life lesson. I don’t want to become the afterschool special of the blog article world so I will end this article in the next sentence. I don’t really have anything to say in this sentence, but I set it up as the last sentence so here is one last thing I have to say.
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